7 Rules To Deal With Haters

I was recently reading “Tools of Titans” by Tim Ferris. It has a lot of insights.

Often in life, I have seen that when you start pursuing something of your own or drift a little apart from the herd, a weird thing happens.

Instead of people coming to encourage you, a whole lot of them come to you saying why it won’t work out, why you should give up…. yada..yada. Now an interesting thing happens,

You start doubting your own self. Becasue guess what, we are social animals at the end of the day. Social approval does mean a thing to us. How can we solve this problem?

This is where the habit of maintaining some sort of rules in life comes. What I have observed is that when something totally unfamiliar happens in people’s lives, it take usually 2 directions:-

1. They are thrown into total chaos and things start going in a downward spiral. Bouts of insecurity, fueled by a nagging little voice that you are incompetent usually take precedence over them.
   

2. They are all ready to an extent and know a high level of how to come out of that situation. These people usually have a high-level order in their life when they start maintaining rules

My Favourite 7 rules

• It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do

• 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it and treat it as math.

• When you are in doubt about what to do with a critic use one of these 3 approaches

  • Starve it of oxygen (ignore it) - 90%

  • Pour gasoline on it (promote it) - 8%

  • Engage with trolls after too much wine (and really regret it) - 2%

• If you respond to any criticism, don’t over apologize

  • Use “ I see you”

    • It diffuses 80% of people who appear to be haters or would-be haters

  • Use “ Thanks for the feedback. I’m always trying to improve. In the meantime, I hope you find what you’re looking for”

• You can’t reason someone out of something they don’t want to get out of

• To do anything remotely interesting, you need to train yourself to handle - or enjoy - criticism.

  • Rehearsing your fears or just writing them down for 10 minutes really helps

• Robustness is when you care more about the few who like your work than the multitude who hates it (Artists) Fragility is when you care more about the few who hate your work than the multitude who loves it (Politicians)

  • Choose to be robust
    

Some quotes to help you get perspective

• “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You’ll avoid the tough decisions, and you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted” - Colin Powell

• “Living well is the best revenge” - George Herbert

• “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid” - Epictetus
  

What do you think? Let me know!! Signing off Debu Ki Dastak